CHOOSING GUARDIANS FOR YOUR CHILDREN
I work with a lot of parents of young children, and the main reason they have decided to do estate planning at all is because they want to name guardians for their children in case something happens to both of them. For some people, it is a gut feeling—they just know who they trust to raise their children. For many couples, however, it is a long and difficult decision making process, as each parent initially has a different person or couple in mind. If you are in the process of choosing your children’s potential guardian, here is a list of factors to consider:
Parenting skills—Are the potential guardians parents already? How do you feel about the parenting choices they have made? If they are not parents, how do you think they would parent your children at the different stages of your children’s lives?
Values—Do the potential guardians have the same perspective on money, education, community service, etc., that you have? Would they be able to impart the values that are important to you to your children?
Religious background—Do the potential guardians share your religious background and level of observance? If not, would they be willing and able to raise your children in your religion?
Financial stability—Would you be imposing a financial or related burden on the potential guardians that would be difficult for them to handle? Although parents should have enough life insurance to help the guardians pay for the children’s expenses, raising someone else’s child can impose other burdens on the guardians, such as needing to take time off of work for sick days.
Burden on existing family—If the potential guardians have their own children, are they similar or different in age to yours? If the potential guardians’ children are the same ages as your children, how will that affect their parenting? For example, do the guardians have the right personality to deal with multiple teenagers in the house at the same time? If the guardians’ children are older, that could make it easier because there would be less children in the house at the same time, or harder if the guardians are ready to be done with hands-on parenting.
Interest—Have you talked to the potential guardians? Have they indicated to you that they are willing to take on this responsibility if necessary?
Marital status—If you want to name a couple as your children’s guardians, how do you feel about the spouses as individuals? If one spouse died, or the couple got divorced, would you feel equally comfortable with either spouse? You can state in your Wills that a couple designated as guardians will only be guardians if they are still married and living together, but if the divorce/death happens after your deaths, it might not be ideal to uproot your children again, so you may want to chose a couple where you feel confident in them as guardians together and separately.
Ultimately, the important thing is that every parent have a Will that includes guardian designations. Otherwise, the courts will make the decision for you, and it is likely it would not be the person or people you would have picked. It is important to note that a guardian designation is not final until both parents die. If you change your mind about the guardians named in your Will in the future, under Pennsylvania law, you may change the designations through codicils to your Wills or by executing new Wills.
Please contact Alison at alison@altmangross.com or 215-435-8524 to discuss how she can help you with your Estate Planning and guardianship designations.